I finally broke down in tears today – at the restaurant. I have been there every day for the past 2 weeks and today after not seeing nathan for the entire day until 7:30 pm, and realizing how much he’s missed me today, i just broke down. I feel like i’ve been neglecting him so much lately and it literally pains me. I know that my family needs me right now and that it’s not like i am not spending time with nathan for no good reason. It’s just that i feel so helpless! I want to be able to be in both places at the same time. I know that’s not possible.

I hate feeling out of control of anything, especially my LIFE!

I know that being away from Nathan is only temporary till we get things going, but i don’t know how i can continue to do it. I don’t know how work-outside-the-home moms do it. I hate being away from my kid.

Being depressed about this sucks. And i’d just like to reiterate what my husband said to me today before leaving for work at 7 a.m. – “money is overrated”. I couldn’t agree more.