Photo by Alexis B: https://www.pexels.com/photo/family-strolling-in-sunlit-french-street-33400682/

 

There’s arguably no tougher job out there than parenthood. Sure, it’s fair to say you may have a job where you’re responsible for hundreds of people, even manage sensitive infrastructure, or remain at the cutting edge of technological development. Maybe you’re an emergency responder, where you experience difficulties every day that most people won’t ever have to contend with.

 

All of those roles are very tough and certainly worth our deep respect. However, for most people, there’s almost nothing more pressing and intense than raising a brand new human and ensuring they turn out okay. After all, that’s not just someone elses’ life in your hands, it’s the life of someone you voluntarily brought into the world or adopted into your family.

 

That means you can’t pass the buck elsewhere. You’re not just part of their story, but the reason for it beginning in the first place, or at least being the cause of a new start. Moreover, children grow quickly and development periods are complex with many different pressuring influences, even if you’re well-structured by sending them to the best preschools or having a loving family unit in your household.

 

However, like with any big and complex task, simplifying your options helps a great deal. Let’s help you do that, with the following advice:

Focus On Connection Over Perfection

You don't need to be the perfect parent who has everything figured out all the time. That sounds like lip service, but it’s so, so true. Perhaps what matters more for healthy development isn’t you being the model person, but showing up consistently and being present when your child needs you, even if you're tired or stressed about other things going on in your life.

Children can sense when you're genuinely engaged with them versus when you're just going through the motions. Maybe you only have twenty minutes before bedtime, but if you're really listening to what they're telling you about their day, that connection means more than an hour of distracted time together. They remember feeling heard and valued, not whether you had the perfect response to every situation or if you didn’t lose your temper a little because they wouldn’t put their shoes on before school.

Set Clear Boundaries With Kindness

Kids need to know what's expected of them, though how you communicate those expectations will often reflect in their own mood and attitude. Sure, there will be times when you need to be firm about safety or behavior, but explaining why rules exist helps them understand as opposed to thinking they should comply out of fear.

So if your child tests the same boundary repeatedly, try to respond the same way each time with patience and explanation, as they'll eventually internalize what you're teaching them. It’s easier said than done but gives you a simple, heartfelt model of what appropriate conduct is. Then you can talk through your conflict and emotions healthily as opposed to venting them.

Take Care Of Yourself, Too

You can't pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes, and this is especially true when you're responsible for another person's well-being. Maybe you feel guilty about taking time for yourself when there's always something your child needs, though burnout helps nobody in your family.

To simplify parenthood, begin asking for help when you need it, maintain friendships outside of parenting, or just take a few minutes each day to do something that makes you feel like yourself. Children benefit from seeing that adults have their own interests and take care of their own needs, because it teaches them that self-care is normal and healthy behavior. And we all need it from time to time.

With this advice, we hope you can simplify the smaller conflicts of your day with more care and possibility.